Shifting from left to right; right to left
June 21, 2009I’m preparing for my 2nd lecture in LIRA, I haven’t slept well because of the books that I have to scan and the coffee becomes more and more tasteless. I could no longer understand the Nursing books that I’m reading and the short stories in my reading lists were messed inside my head. I can feel my left hand eager to write, even though I’m a right handed. The lady of illusion won’t rotate clockwise or counter clock wise. I can already see the trick clearly. I can make it stop in my head if I want; I can turn it up side down without blinking an eye.
Tomorrow, I’ll have to be in Madaluyong for the three-day duty; then I’ll be back in Manila by Thursday. Friday, I’ll be in the coffee shop, perhaps reading again, perhaps writing, perhaps not. By Saturday I have to attend my morning class with Dr. Tu and right after that I’ll have to go UP for the palihan; then by 5 o’clock I have to go back to the school again for another version of the story…
Regardless, I can feel the exhaustion lingering behind me like a shadow that may be covered by the illness they called stress, insomnia, anorexia… whatever they call it, It’ll simply be as breathing and making your life worth living.
Poetry is a refuge. Nursing is a vocation. Medicine is an art. Art can be science. But how artistic Medicine / Nursing is? How scietific art is?
I can say that Nursing is not an art. I can say Medicine is simply an improved stage of nursing. I can say art is personal representation of intuition. I can say this… just like how I say that religion is a disease and God is an illusion.
At week days I have to think like a nurse, a rational being with perfect understand. I have to disregard politics and support religion; I have to give advise to patients with my tongue twisted on one side my fingers slightly knotted. I have to keep my pen in my pocket and eyes focus on the superficial surface of the white linen covering the stained blood from the corpse of an old woman. I have to make the sign of the cross without saying amen, because if I did, I’ll be just another hypocrite carrying the ashes of the crucifix on my forehead professing Jesus’ name without knowing how real reality is.
On Thursday, I’m an activist questioning the professors’ ideologies and totally trying to wipe out his respect, challenging people to think…just a glimpse on this side of paradise….
By Friday, I’m a schizoid, a vagabond, traveling from one place to another, searching for what they’ve been ranting about…
By Saturday, I’m back on business, rescuing my grades and my future while ruining it with the challenges I’ve ventured… I’m a pathetic hopeless dreamer…
By summer before i turned 20, i’ll be gone….just like what the fortune said… I’ll be gone…
Goosebumps in Long Live the Fearless Man
June 18, 2009First, Tagalog is a romantic language; watching the video of Long LIve the Fearless Man in youtube gave me goosebumps; I can feel the warm water accumulating over my lids…it’s acidic, I can smell it.
Listless
May 7, 2009 
It was just a matter of seconds and my 200-page novel was blown away. It was the most disastrous event in my life. Moreover, i have to prepare my self for a more life-ruining verdict whether I shall continue to write or not. This day is very important for me. Whatever my EPP teacher said about my way of writing, I’ll have to bring my cards and chose steps for Plan B.
I’m Berlin and I’m a writer.
My simple Genesis
:::I was born in the Suburb, ten days after the 1990 killer quake in the Philippines. It was after all rodents infesting the city has calmed down but traffic hasn’t yet normalized so, I had to be born on the floor of our living room in Bagong Silang, the largest barangay in the country.
Two years later, my brother was born, fortunately in a normal and usual way. He was named Linberg while I was given the name Berlin.
We moved from Bagong Silang to my grandmother’s place in Baesa, a big town in Quezon City, where I completed my preschool and gradeschool with a rugged medal from academic excellence in the public school.
I spent my high school in Santo Thomas High School, which is a branch of the largest catholic university in asia UST. There I learned a lot of things about the life in Manila. I wasn’t blinded by the university controversies and college scandals. Through the years, I have developed this sense of morality and acquired plenty of friends.
However, the university I admired the most doesn’t want me as a participant to their affair, so I have to find a place I can enroll. I’m presently studying n Perps, just behind UST. I’m still pursuing my dream…to write…
